disconnected

feeling kinda disconnected lately
more precisely, i dont think i am "disconnected", but rather i am the "disconnector"
simply put, i just dont feel "connected"
in another word, im lacking the sense of "connection"
if you dont understand what im saying
u got it.. u know what i feel
on the other hand, if u think u get it
then im not so sure u do, coz ur preception might be different from what i expect, and u might be right or wrong
anyways

things have stayed the same
im the variable this time
i wouldnt expect ppl to get used to these changes
and i think i hav difficulty getting used to these changes myself
feeling kinda chaotic in the process
so ive delegated my subconscious mind to sort out the mess
hopefully the result would soon come up

i think its the contradiction btw logic and emotion
with new facts or knowledge, ones perception can change through logic
with emotion, the change can be either accelerated or halted
when introducing new ideas and removing old ideas, 2 sets of logic and emotion come together
while the logic of new idea might claim victory, emotion attached to the old idea is usually the one harder to overcome
we know that emotion in many cases can hinder proper logic (just think abt the last time u did somethings so stupid that u want to kill urself afterward)
i think most would agree that good logic = good, and bad logic = bad
so emotion causes bad logic, hence emotion = bad because emotion hurts logic

curiously, logic and emotion have a special connection
like any animal, we hav emotions
most emotions r pretty much hardwired in our brain, in another word, in our genes
some might be products of society, but we r born with the basic ones (anger sadness etc)
one of the most important driving force, is of course the desire for happiness, wutever that is..
note that this desire is biological, and it is there for the rest of ur life
so the quest for seeking happiness starts here
later, ppl discover that through logic and rationalization, we can maximize our happiness (like not to touch fire because its very hot, and very hot = hurt, and hurt = no happy)
of course, we can still learn by emotion through reflex (im thinking abt the experiment of someone getting zapped by one of many objects he can choose from), but its slower (u get zapped many times before u learn, and zapped many times = no happy)

so logic is a fast track to more happiness, since the desire for happiness is an emotion, it follows that logic helps emotion

as concluded above, logic helps emotion, while emotion hurts logic, which usually causes bad logic, and bad logic results unhappiness

in short, logic help emotion and emotion tries to kill logic all the time

so emotion is crazy but we cant change who we r

we can logically conclude that: we are driven by emotion, emotion is crazy, so we r driven by craziness

as human progresses, we use logic more and more
then we start to find out that some ppl seem too logical
they disect everything and break down every action into a cost-benefit analysis
ppl say this kind of ppl lack emotion
but doesnt logic help emotion? how can one be logical and not emotional?
being extremely logical is for someone who has a strong desire for happiness or emotion wants
thus being extremely logical is extremely emotional
logic is only a tool for emotion

hmm how did i get here
back to the topic..
some ppl say that i think too much or think too far
well i just want to be prepared
i think im just being logical
or should i say emotional?