regret

Why do we regret?

However rational we think we are, we can't help but regret for our action or inaction. 明明知道不能改變什麼,卻總把自己放到同一個處境. As though self-punishment is an involuntary behaviour built inside us. I think that is exactly it. From the surface, regretting seems like a useless emotion that serves no purpose but to put us in misery. From the Darwinian point of view, this can only decrease our chance of survival. Then why do we do it? It clearly wouldn't change anything.

One thing is particularly interesting. Say if you forgot to feed your pet, and it dies due to starvation. You would definitely feel remorse (provided that you like your pet), and wish you have done differently, like feeding it. This clearly wouldn't bring your pet into life (no, there is no miracle). Now consider a different scenario. If you forgot to feed it, but it managed to survive at the end by some freak coincidence, would you still feel bad? Probably not nearly as much. This kinda implies that we feel sorry for the things we lost, or the more pleasant alternative situation comparing to the present. Some people may feel sad for the poor dog, and not expressing any remorse is just not "right". But the subject is not specific, we can also feel regret over a burnt computer power cord. What is common is the fact that we feel like shit.

Perhaps this is just a learning mechanism. We only learn fastest if we experience pain either physically or mentally. We can think of regretting as a self-inflicted pain that we subconsciously impose on ourselves. Whenever a similar situation occurs, the pain is remembered, and hopefully prevents us from making the same mistake.

What if the mistake is so unique that it would not happen again ever? It probably means that there is no reason for regret.

This process of learning took me long enough already. So much for self-punishment, hopefully I have learned my lessons. For now, self-redemption might be more practical.