FINAL 事件錄

"明天就要考兩個final了,而現在卻開始發燒真是出師不利
本來還以為只是睡不好腰酸背痛"
4/16/07

寫到這裡我就掛掉了
後來狂喝水跟果汁
我發現final好像有不錯的治癒力
我才病了一天就康復了

anyways, did alot of facebook today, and expect to do more as a substitute for msn and random web surfing

First update at last

its been while since my last update
and today i actually think abt actually updating
剛剛login就看到了去年寫的草稿 dated 2/12/2006

好久沒update了喔
自己都開始覺得我的blog好無聊
今天就來寫一些沒營養的..嗯..i mean隨性的東西好了
以前每次po的都是會讓我自己頭痛的東西
actually.. i think i do have sth to write now

其實我漸漸發現到一個很嚴重的問題
說大不大但說小不小
算是一個滿深的topic
這個問題我也已經發現了好一陣子

原來我去年就想要update了,卻到現在才做
這個"嚴重的問題"到底是什麼我說實在也忘了
開頭寫這樣害我都想要再讀下去了,可是要再想起的機會實在不高
感覺好像被我自己賣了個關子,還滿嘔的

今天不是什麼特別的日子,在這麼不特別的時間重新開張我卻覺得恰到好處
因為不用想什麼應景的題目來寫,寫些沒什麼意義的東西也沒差
之前好幾次都想update可是也忘記為什麼都沒有,可能只是拖得太晚想睡
也可能只是為了first post該怎麼開始而煩惱
you might say that "欸呀,只是自己的blog而已,想那麼多幹嘛,想到什麼就寫啊!"
可是我覺得開張就是要好好的開始,隨便開始可能也會落得才幾個禮拜就倒閉的慘狀
所以不管怎樣
就是要寫多一點長一點,這樣看起來比較體面

講講剛剛被自己賣關子的事好了
其實這也不是第一次了,最近還滿常發生的,也就是因為這樣我才想開始寫東西
自己常常忘東忘西的
我說的不是忘記鑰匙放在哪裡,作業忘記寫的那種
而是想到了一些自己覺得很棒的東西或idea,可是還沒寫下來就忘了
"那就寫在筆記本啊"
嗯..good idea 可是我很懶得用筆寫東西,況且很多是要寫也寫不出來的
沒有經過自己碎碎唸加上紀錄是沒辦法整理出來的
所以最好還是用電腦打,以後也比較好access,我的筆記常常都不知道丟到哪了

話說回來
這種忘記東西的感覺還滿差的
尤其是像ideas or other creative thoughts
跑掉了可能永遠都回不來了
不知道頭腦是不是像硬碟一樣,剛忘記的東西像是檔案的資訊從MFT砍掉了
its deleted as we know it, but we can still find it if we really want to
可是時間一過,那一區硬碟可能就被另一個檔案overwriten
而腦細胞的連結也因為其他的資訊而被改變,wiping out the remaining memory
或許有很多人就是這樣失去了改變人生的機會

what about if you forget that you've forgotten something?
這樣倒是沒什麼不好的 since you wouldn't be aware of the loss
and since its all in your head, no one can remind you of what you have lost

想起了一個段子from "那一夜,我們說相聲" by 李力群 and 李國修
its titled 記性與忘性
提到了說記性壞的人活得挺愉快的,而他的解釋是 "你想嘛,什麼事都忘了當然愉快"
and i concur

Bear Paw

地瓜球

birds

Bear II

mommy's boy

disconnected

feeling kinda disconnected lately
more precisely, i dont think i am "disconnected", but rather i am the "disconnector"
simply put, i just dont feel "connected"
in another word, im lacking the sense of "connection"
if you dont understand what im saying
u got it.. u know what i feel
on the other hand, if u think u get it
then im not so sure u do, coz ur preception might be different from what i expect, and u might be right or wrong
anyways

things have stayed the same
im the variable this time
i wouldnt expect ppl to get used to these changes
and i think i hav difficulty getting used to these changes myself
feeling kinda chaotic in the process
so ive delegated my subconscious mind to sort out the mess
hopefully the result would soon come up

i think its the contradiction btw logic and emotion
with new facts or knowledge, ones perception can change through logic
with emotion, the change can be either accelerated or halted
when introducing new ideas and removing old ideas, 2 sets of logic and emotion come together
while the logic of new idea might claim victory, emotion attached to the old idea is usually the one harder to overcome
we know that emotion in many cases can hinder proper logic (just think abt the last time u did somethings so stupid that u want to kill urself afterward)
i think most would agree that good logic = good, and bad logic = bad
so emotion causes bad logic, hence emotion = bad because emotion hurts logic

curiously, logic and emotion have a special connection
like any animal, we hav emotions
most emotions r pretty much hardwired in our brain, in another word, in our genes
some might be products of society, but we r born with the basic ones (anger sadness etc)
one of the most important driving force, is of course the desire for happiness, wutever that is..
note that this desire is biological, and it is there for the rest of ur life
so the quest for seeking happiness starts here
later, ppl discover that through logic and rationalization, we can maximize our happiness (like not to touch fire because its very hot, and very hot = hurt, and hurt = no happy)
of course, we can still learn by emotion through reflex (im thinking abt the experiment of someone getting zapped by one of many objects he can choose from), but its slower (u get zapped many times before u learn, and zapped many times = no happy)

so logic is a fast track to more happiness, since the desire for happiness is an emotion, it follows that logic helps emotion

as concluded above, logic helps emotion, while emotion hurts logic, which usually causes bad logic, and bad logic results unhappiness

in short, logic help emotion and emotion tries to kill logic all the time

so emotion is crazy but we cant change who we r

we can logically conclude that: we are driven by emotion, emotion is crazy, so we r driven by craziness

as human progresses, we use logic more and more
then we start to find out that some ppl seem too logical
they disect everything and break down every action into a cost-benefit analysis
ppl say this kind of ppl lack emotion
but doesnt logic help emotion? how can one be logical and not emotional?
being extremely logical is for someone who has a strong desire for happiness or emotion wants
thus being extremely logical is extremely emotional
logic is only a tool for emotion

hmm how did i get here
back to the topic..
some ppl say that i think too much or think too far
well i just want to be prepared
i think im just being logical
or should i say emotional?